I have a disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes. My doctor says it’s terminal.

Archaeologists have discovered an oil stain that might be more than a thousand years old. It’s Ancient Grease.

I told my mum Ive decided Im moving to Italy. She said; Stop being Sicily.

Absolutely agree.

Doesn’t bode well for the future. Unless there is a Benji, Robbie or Tedesco coming through we are going to continue to flounder with Sheens attitude.

I passed a participle today. That was tense.

Why did the frog go on the bus today?

How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?

A genie granted me one wish - so I wished to be happy. Now I live with 6 dwarves and work in a mine.

I used to be a bus driver but I had to quit. I was fed up of people talking behind my back.

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender says, "Olive or Twist?"

I got arrested for impersonating a firework. They let me off.

They took about 40 mins deliberation to come to the decision. Clearly it was debated.

Tamou and the club were successful in getting Tamou’s charge downgraded. Tamou will serve a 1 match suspension and play in the final round at Leichhar...

My puns aren’t always juvenile. Sometimes they’re full groan.