Her: What do you do?
Me: I race cars.
Her: Do you win many races?
Me: Nah, the cars are much faster.
This just in:
Taller People, Sleep longer
What kind of cup doesn’t hold water?
How do trees get online?
I bought a new trimmer today. It's cutting hedge technology.
I pinned a Rolex to the post just outside my house. It’s the neighborhood watch.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
Wife says to her programer husband, Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen. Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.
How does a vegan begin grace before a meal?
My puns aren’t always juvenile. Sometimes they’re full groan.
I got arrested for impersonating a firework. They let me off.
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender says, "Olive or Twist?"
I used to be a bus driver but I had to quit. I was fed up of people talking behind my back.
A genie granted me one wish - so I wished to be happy. Now I live with 6 dwarves and work in a mine.
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?
