When ordering food at a restaurant, Iasked the waiter how they preparetheir chicken."Nothing special", he explained. "Wejust tell them they're going t...

I’ll wait until Tuesday before I believe any of these rumours are true.

You're living, you occupy space and have mass.What does that mean?You matter.

You can understand why they would be miffed. One or all of them won’t be here in 2024, maybe even earlier.

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can will be held against you. Man replies Boobs!

They wanted to charge me $500 for a new hairpiece but that was too much toupee.

I haven’t. What Moses did to leave is unforgivable. He can rot at the Eels and may he never win a GF.

@tiger_alex We could come 17th in 2023.

If your dad is a police officer is it safe to say you have a... Father In Law?

You know you're drunk when you get home, put food in the microwave and then enter your pin number.

Technically, the borders of Finland are Finnish lines.

Me: I left my job today. I couldn’t work for someone after what they said to me. Wife: What did they say? Me: You’re fired.

We’ve never tried that combination. I for one would like to see how it would go.

Maybe Sheens wants to use him from Round 1

Why don't ants get sick?