Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But.. Smoking bacon will cure it.

Smiling increases your face value

It will take as long as it takes. My compass is just fine thanks. We may or may not get the spoon, but that won’t be on the coach but on the players. ...

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the window. If it gets any worse, Ill have to let her in.

Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went…

Scientists just recorded the sound of two helium atoms laughing. HeHe

What nonsense, defence this year has been outstanding. Stop worrying about the ladder, the team is becoming a team. It will serve us well down the tra...

We’ve made strides with attitude and in defence. There is a lot of effort by the playing group. The tide will turn. Don’t forget our best attacking pl...

Seven has even in it. That’s odd.

I’d pick Madge. He’s the one who will break through the barrier of mediocrity that the club is plagued with. It was never going to be easy but progres...

Being an adult is so weird... I'm unsupervised all the time, how unsafe.

Friend: “Whenever I’m down in the dumps I get myself a new tie.” Me: “I wondered where you got them.”

A friend suggested putting horse manure on my strawberries... I'm never doing that again, I'm going back to whipped cream.

To err is human. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.

Apparently hospitals are not the best place to start unplugging things so you can charge your Smartphone.