What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?

My friend is always complaining about his car. I told him I didn't want to hear his Saab story.

52 days to go

What are Terminators called when they retire?

My wife is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"“Whatever means necessary,” she replied. “No it doesn’t...

I woke up this morning so sure I was an 80s pop star... I was adamant.

The wife said we should try some role reversal in bed… So I said I had a headache.

So when my friend Joyce learned she could clone herself, she rejoiced.

53 to go…

Ponga will be playing 5/8 regardless.

My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it is flat. In the end, they came around.

My horse will only come out its stable when it gets dark. It's becoming a night mare.

How do you make an egg roll?

Just clap your hands or stamp your feet or just make a noise…