Dad Humour

Who was the builder of King Arthur’s round table?

Why did the chicken go to the gym?

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet? I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don’t know either.

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary.

What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

I had an operation on my funny bone today. The doctor said I will be in stitches for two weeks.

Odourless perfumes are non-scents.

I wonder if Nomads ever get angry?

Sorry about my earlier joke about oil.
It was a bit crude. I'll make sure they're more refined in future.

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humour. 

Don't worry about your smartphone and TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years!

I bought a new thesaurus today. It's nothing to write house about.

What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday?

Me: I’m still tired from all the CrossFit this morning.
Co-worker: It's pronounced croissant…

When I was abducted the aliens made me wipe my feet, blow my nose, and eat my greens...I think I was on the mother ship...

A farmer who owned 67 sheep asked me to round them up.

I said: Sure. 70.