I still can’t believe there’s a cottage where they make cheese 🧀
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
You poop your pants once in public and no one will let you forget it.
Just look at what happened to Winnie the Bear.
You poop your pants once in public and no one will let you forget it.
Just look at what happened to Winnie the Bear.
Barry tells his wife that he is going to the pub and his wife says "If you get drunk and disgrace yourself....we are through and I will leave you!"
Barry makes promises and heads to the pub. 20 beers later Barry is smashed and vomits all over himself. He tells his mate what his wife says and his mate tucks a $20 note in his pocket and says "Tell her a stranger vomited all over you and gave you $20 for dry cleaning".
Happy with his plan Barry staggers home and opens the door to his angry wife. "Darling, its not what you think, I was behaving myself and a complete drunk stranger vomited on me and apologetically put $20 in my pocket for dry cleaning, see check for yourself!"
His wife pulls out 2 x $20 notes from Barry's pocket...."and where did the second $20 come from?"
Barrys last words.."Thats from the guy who shat in my pants"
If you run behind a car, you'll get exhausted.
If you run in front of a car, you'll get tired.
I've just written a song about a tortilla. Well, it is more of a rap really.
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?
What do you call a cow with two legs?
You know what they say about cliffhangers...
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard?
My partner asked me to put tomato sauce on the shopping list.
Now I can’t read anything.
