My neighbour Janet lost $20K after investing in a bogus company that claimed to be planning to produce lifelike life-size Henry Winkler dolls. It was a Fonzie scheme.
There's a huge sale on landscaping supplies going on at Bunnings, but there isn't mulch left.
Where do bad rainbows go?
Verbs & Contractions
they are - they’re
where is - where’s
is not - isn’t
should not - shouldn’t
he will - he’ll
I am - the walrus coo-coo-ca-choo
I told my psychiatrist I felt like a dog. He told me to get off the couch.
I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick….. and she’s still not talking to me 🤐😋
Last night after a few beers my mate asked if he could stay on my sofa.
I had to explain to him that I'm married now so that's where I sleep.
What do you call an alarm clock that doesn't have a snooze button?
It was 10 years ago today that my best mate James came running out of the room shouting "It's a boy!" with tears streaming down his face. We never went back to Thailand.
Do you Know what you get when you throw a lot of books into the ocean?
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.
My wife said she wanted me to put the magic back into our relationship.
I don't think sawing her in half was quite what she had in mind.
