Just thought I’d let everybody know that
I passed my paintball exam… with flying colours…
I doubt Vodka is the answer. It's worth a shot though.
My wife thinks I'm weird. But I'm not the one who married me.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
I put my phone under my pillow last night. When I woke up it was gone and there was a coin in its place.
Damn Bluetooth fairy!
At a restaurant with food still on my plate! Server: You wanna box for that?
Me: It’s not worth fighting over!
A polar bear and her cubs passing an igloo in a raging Arctic blizzard.
I have a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words as well.
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday.
She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, Thats a pretty watch you've got there!
Does it tell you the time?
She laughed: No, this is an old fashioned watch. You have to look at it!
Do you know what you call men who make jokes about women?
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favourite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Might wake up early and go for a jog. Might also win the lottery... odds are about the same.
Why is it spelled camouflage and not
For those who don't want Alexa listening in on your conversations they're making a male version... It doesn't listen to anything.
Some call it multi-tasking. I call it doing something else while I try to remember what I was doing in the first place.