Dad Humour

Tablets were replaced by scrolls. Scrolls were replaced by books. Now we scroll through books on tablets.

What does a clock do when it's hungry?

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

What do you call a zombie who doesn't joke around?

I told my doctor I was having trouble with my right ear. He asked, "Are you sure?"

I said, "I'm definite."

Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist.

While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

The Opportunist.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a hug.

I’m reading a book about WD-40. It’s non-friction.

I needed a password eight characters long. So I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an adult.

If the earth were flat, cats would have pushed everything over the edge already.

Scientists have recently produced immortal frogs.

They've removed their vocal chords.

Now they can't croak.

just found out that there is a clinical name for what you call it when you can’t sleep at night and you just eat instead. It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nia,

An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion...