Dad Humour

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

When I get in to work I immediately hide. Good employees are hard to find.

How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Confusion today when a stationery store moved...

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

The little cookie was upset because his mom was a wafer so long.

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re writing code or speaking to someone attractive.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

A 9 year old girl has disappeared after using a revolutionary new moisturiser that makes you look 10 years younger.

What did 50cent do when he was hungry?

I can’t figure out why Marvel hasn’t put any advertisements on the incredible hulk
He’s basically a giant banner…

Prayers for my sister’s husband, who very tragically got her nothing for valentines day, when she specifically told him she wanted nothing for Valentine’s Day…

Which way did the programmer go?

If you break a leg during an audition it guarantees you'll end up in the cast…

What do you call Bears with no ears?