How do you console an English teacher?
Son: Dad, Ive got a part in the school play. I play a man who’s been married 25 years.
Dad: Maybe next time you’ll get a speaking part.
Funny
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
Studies show that cows produce more Milk when the Farmer talks to them.
It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.
The amount of people who confuse ‘to’ and ‘too’ is amazing two me.
The best thing about the 15 cent plastic reusable shopping bags is that the cupboard under my sink is now worth $572,000
I forgot how to throw a boomerang ...then it came back to me
Money has gone missing from Fleetwood Mac's dressing room again.
They're starting to suspect Stevie Nicks.
The inventor of knock knock jokes should win a no-bell prize
A friend lost three fingers on their right hand, so they asked their doctor if they would still be able to write with it.
Doctor said: “Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it.”
The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the furniture in the house is in its place.
The medical term for owning too many dogs is: roverdose
@Mike, with material this good there is 0% chance the rumours you've lost the dressing room are true.
@Mike, with material this good there is 0% chance the rumours you've lost the dressing room are true.
Mate I lost the dressing room a long time ago… lol
