Dad Humour

Where do pickles go to buy a car?

Why isn't dark spelled with a c? 

I've just laid a chicken proof lawn. It's impeckable.

I was robbed at a petrol station in Ryde last night. After my hands stopped trembling..I managed to call the police and they were quick to respond and calmed me down..... My money is gone.. the police asked me if I knew who did it..I said yes.. it was pump number 9…

I used to think innuendo was an Italian suppository.

I believe people in Dubai don’t watch the Flintstones, but those in Abu Dhabi do.

So, I’m really annoyed. I sent my hearing-aids in for repair like three weeks ago and I just haven’t heard anything since.

My favourite thread @mike without doubt

The lumberjack was fired for cutting too many trees. He saw too much.

Posted by: @mike

So, I’m really annoyed. I sent my hearing-aids in for repair like three weeks ago and I just haven’t heard anything since.

Wish you could double like this one. 😁

Tip of the day:

Ha - mildly amusing
Haha - sarcastic laugh
Hahaha - funny
Ha-ha-ha-ha - Stayin' alive! 🎵

Not all maths puns are bad. Just sum.

Jason Bourne has a brother who lives in Australia. His name is Mel.

If you teach a wolf to meditate, he becomes aware wolf…

One day I changed a lightbulb, crossed the road and walked into a bar. Then I realised my whole life was a joke.