Ive just finished reading a brilliant book called, How to avoid getting ripped off... Best $100 I ever spent!
I just accidentally put my donor card into the ATM. It cost me an arm and a leg.
Jokes about sausages are bad...
but..
Jokes about German sausages are the würst!
According to a recent study, the most common sexual position for married couples is "Doggie style".
For those of you who don't know what that is, its where the husband sits up in the bed and begs, and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
FACT: Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have the same middle name.
Pancake day really crepes up on you…
According to a recent study, the most common sexual position for married couples is "Doggie style".
For those of you who don't know what that is, its where the husband sits up in the bed and begs, and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
According to another recent study, the most common room for married couples having sex is as follows:
First year: kitchen sex where the urge is overpowering and the kitchen bench is the closest spot
2-10 years: bedroom sex where it becomes monotonous but comfortable
10 years plus: hallway sex where you walk past each other yelling “get *#%?&!!”
How does a non-binary ninja kill people?
Maths Teacher: If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have? Student: A drinking problem.
Two blondes were walking through the countryside when they came across some tracks. The first blonde said: "These look like wombat tracks." And the other one said: "No they look like dingo tracks." They argued and argued for a while, and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
My beautiful blonde daughter didn't get it lol
Thought I had caught Covid as all the food was tasting terrible. Turns out I’m just a bad cook.
My friend David has lost his ID. We now call him Dav.
My friend Victor recently changed his last name to E, but no-one knows why… He’s become a Mr E...
Elevator Music bothers me on so many levels.
Star Wars..
