My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I dunno, I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.
Who would have thought we’d have a few ice blocks in our footy team. I refer to Mr Bula and Mr Pole 😅😂
My wife has been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
So, Ive taken the hint and got her a magazine rack!
I was disappointed when the book I ordered—‘101 ways you can use Binary’ —finally arrived. It had only 5 things listed.
I told my Wife I was building a model of Mount Everest, she asked, "Is it to scale?",
I replied, " No, it's to look at"
I’m never donating to anyone collecting money for a marathon again. They just take the money and run
Where do lizards go to fix their fallen tails?
My friend went completely bald years ago, but he still carries a comb with him. He just can’t part with it.
I've started investing in stocks. Beef, Chicken, and Vegetable. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
How do you make anti-freeze?
I really believe myself and Joel are holding this tipping comp together 🤷♂️😂😅😜
I’m so committed to the environment that even my jokes are recycled.
There was a Roman emperor who never aged after he turned 13. His name was Constant Teen.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
I was so unpopular at school they used to call me "Batteries". I was never included in anything.