A reality TV contest between two cartoonists ended in a draw.
Ironing boards are just surfboards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs.
Someone rang me, sneezed into the phone, and then hung up. I’m so sick of these cold calls.
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. The poor guy.
I was the best man for my brother's wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my Champagne glass and said "Eggs, Cinnamon, Bread, and Maple Syrup." It was a French Toast.
As an Australian, it really troubles me that nothing is made in the Australia anymore...
I just bought this new TV and on the box it says "Built-in Antenna!" I don't even know where that is!!!!
So you mean to tell me that a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out???
A large group of Karens is called a Homeowner’s Association…
Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?
It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope. It will still be stationary.
I’ve finally reached the age where Happy Hour is a nap.
Yesterday my wife thought she saw a cockroach in the kitchen. She sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.
Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.
Two Wests Tigers supporters were caught climbing over the fence at Leichhardt Oval.
Security made them go back and watch the game. 😭
Why don’t dinosaurs make good pets?
Why can’t a bike stand on its own?
