Dad Humour

I’m flying to India to try their famous sandwiches.

Everyone’s talking about their New Delhi.

A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow: Mind if I say a word? She says: Please do. The man clears his throat and says: “Bargain.” The widow replies: Thanks that means a great deal.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore...

Surely thats the worst possible place to try and sell shells?!

What do you call a child afraid of Santa?

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation to the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

There is a new movie coming out about mobile homes.

I just saw the trailer.

I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.

The look on his face was priceless.

Plagiarism is getting in trouble for something you didn't do...

HELVETICA & TIMES NEW ROMAN walk into a bar and order drinks.

The bartender refuses to serve them and says “We don’t serve your type here.”

A thief broke into my house last night looking for money. So I got out of bed to look with him.

Cheese is essentially just a loaf of milk.

We were a bunch of Nemo’s running around in 1996 😂😅🤪

Why do bees have sticky hair?

My daughter just graduated from law school...

Now she’s my daughter in law.

A cannibal is just someone that’s fed up with people...