I’m flying to India to try their famous sandwiches.
Everyone’s talking about their New Delhi.
A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow: Mind if I say a word? She says: Please do. The man clears his throat and says: “Bargain.” The widow replies: Thanks that means a great deal.
She sells sea shells by the sea shore...
Surely thats the worst possible place to try and sell shells?!
What do you call a child afraid of Santa?
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation to the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
There is a new movie coming out about mobile homes.
I just saw the trailer.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
Plagiarism is getting in trouble for something you didn't do...
HELVETICA & TIMES NEW ROMAN walk into a bar and order drinks.
The bartender refuses to serve them and says “We don’t serve your type here.”
A thief broke into my house last night looking for money. So I got out of bed to look with him.
Cheese is essentially just a loaf of milk.
We were a bunch of Nemo’s running around in 1996 😂😅🤪
Why do bees have sticky hair?
My daughter just graduated from law school...
Now she’s my daughter in law.
A cannibal is just someone that’s fed up with people...
