Dad Humour

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Elmer complained, I’ve found a button in my salad.

The waiter replied, That's all right sir, it's part of the dressing.

I’ve got a fear of two-letter words. I get scared just thinking about it

I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals. It’s pointless.

Who is the roundest knight at King Arthur’s Roundtable?

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

My dad lost his job at the cemetery yesterday. He buried someone in the wrong plot. It was a grave mistake.

It wasn’t much fun having a broken neck...

But now I can look back and laugh.

What’s the worst part about being a cross-eyed teacher?

What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Somebody should market a beer called "Occasionally".

So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally".

I sat next to a baby for a 10 hour flight. I didn’t think it was possible for someone to scream for 10 hours straight. Even the baby was impressed I pulled it off.

What do you call a Magician that loses his magic?

Posted by: @mike

Somebody should market a beer called "Occasionally".

So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally".

Reminds me when I played in a band a million years ago. We were going to name ourselves ‘Free Beer’. Then we could put signs outside the pub: free beer tonite only!!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?