How does the Pope pay for things on eBay?
I’ve started dating a weather girl.
Its nice to be with a woman who’s wrong most of the time
There are four stages in life and they all involve Santa!
1. You believe in Santa
2. You don't believe in Santa
3. You are Santa
4. You look like Santa
In memory of Geoff Chisholm (1965-2022)
What do candy canes do when they finished working?
Why did the turkey join a rock band?
How do snowmen get around?
Why should you never invite a team of soccer players to Christmas?
What do you call a short sighted dinosaur?
What do you call a short sighted dinosaur?
SpoilerDo-you-think-he-saw-us
What do you call his guide dog?
In memory of Geoff Chisholm (1965-2022)
I was in a store last week trying on shoes, after putting one on, I turned to the assistant and said, "It won't fit properly" he replied "Have you tried it with the tongue out?” I said "It’th no good, it’th thtill too thight!”
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.
I just found out that my friend lives a secret life as a priest. It’s his altar ego.
How do you make a Motherboard ??
Start talking about the WT's
Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn't work out.
Its a 5 minutes walk to my local pub
Its a 45 minute walk from my local pub
The difference is staggering
