You can’t ever hear a cow on a video call, because they keep getting moo-ted
A man was rushed to hospital after inserting plastic, toy farm animals up his rectum. After examining the man, the doctors described his condition as stable
A slice of Apple Pie is $2.50 in Jamaica, $2.75 in Aruba and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
Those are the the pie rates of the Caribbean…
There was a Roman Emperor who never aged once he reached the age of 13. His name was Constant teen
Apparently, there is now a Patron Saint of copying people on an email…
It's St. Francis of a CC.
Which friends should you always take out to dinner?
I returned my lizard to the pet store as he wouldn’t stop telling dad jokes.
“That’s not a lizard,” the store clerk told me.
“That’s a stand-up chameleon.”
Very funny mike......hey mate, where does a lizard go when he loses his tail......to a retail store.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
He had reptile disfunction.
😎
My tax agent (Chinese dude) said that the term "Fair Dinkum" actually is a Chinese term meaning "real worth" and was probably introduced during the influx of Chinese to the Ballaret/Victorian gold rush.
He said that miners often signed IOU's and the person giving the money or provisions would ask whether the IOU was Fair Dinkum.
I haven't googled it yet but as a historian I thought his info was really thought provoking.
Sorry not a joke.
I’m not sure which machine Rage Against the Machine was upset about but it was probably a printer.
Where does a pirate go to get his hook?
Never play poker at the zoo. Too many cheetahs.
Paul McCartney has been disqualified from the London Marathon
He was "Banned On The Run"
My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the “dry” side.
It’s definitely something that needs addressing.
I love raising caterpillars as pets. It always gives me butterflies.