It’s the unhappy and Mike show..
I can't speak for everyone but the inventor of the tire is my ultimate roll model.
For wheel.
Its a 5 minutes walk to my local pub
Its a 45 minute walk from my local pub
The difference is staggering
Feel like Ive heard that one somewhere before.......... 🤔
What’s the difference between the England cricket team and a COVID test?
It takes 5 days to get a result from a COVID test!
Remember: You're never too old to learn something stupid.
I called the tinnitus help line. I wouldn’t stop ringing.
I can’t believe I got arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting around doing nothing.
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,
'Hello?''Hi honey.
This is Daddy.
Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No, Daddy.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause,
Daddy says :
'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy,
right now..'
Brief Pause.
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs
And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy
That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'
'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'
A few minutes later
The little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it, Daddy.'
'And what happened, honey?'
'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
And now she isn't moving at all!'
'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too..
He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
And into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water
Last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
Long Pause
Longer Pause
Even Longer Pause
Then Daddy says :
'Swimming pool? ...........
Is this 305-486-5731 ?'
No, I think you have the wrong number.....
Do you think when the lead singer of The Police went solo, that is was just a Sting operation?
I dont understand why people are afraid of snakes. After all, they are completely armless.
I dont wanna go into detail, but the Dyson Ball Cleaner is a very misleading product name...
"The two most important words in the world are honesty and sincerity, if you can fake these you've got it made.” — Groucho Marx
I googled the phrase missing medieval servant. It came back with page not found.
How do you make the number one disappear?
In memory of Geoff Chisholm (1965-2022)
