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Dad Humour

Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

What do you call an obsessively neat adolescent?

Spoiler
Answer
Pristine


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

Cleaning windows is a pane. 


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

So tied of listening to the drilling outside... it's boring....


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

Therapist: "I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?"

Me: "Can't say I do."

Therapist: "That's one of them!"


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

What do you call 2 birds stuck together?

Spoiler
Answer
Velcrows


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

There are two typos of people in the world... those who proofread… and those who don't.


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

Did you know that a piranha can devour a small child down to the bone in less than 30 seconds?

Anyways,

I lost my job at the aquarium today...


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

I went out to buy a camouflage jacket today, but I couldn’t find one.


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

Why was the broom late for the meeting?

Spoiler
Answer
It overswept


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants. Now they’re tenants.


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

I asked my Chinese friend what it's like to live in China.

Spoiler
Answer
He says he can't complain


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

A book fell on my head. I have only my shelf to blame.


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

At any given moment, the urge to sing, The Lion Sleeps Tonight

is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Wests Tigers Development Player
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 4554
Topic starter  

Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is
boomerangs. It's also our biggest import.


   
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